Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Who is the oldest living child of a Hollywood star?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Who are some of the best Korean Actresses?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Is Trump the greatest spiritual leader since Jesus?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why did the UK Supreme Court rule that transgender women are not women?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I don’t buy bullshit

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

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